Growing up – a personal piece

Growing up can be hard. It can also occur at different stages. For some, growing up can occur as a result of a life changing situation. A situation that gives you no choice but to grow up and take responsibility. For others, it could occur through simply going through the motions of life, and gradually becoming a more responsible and independent person.

I was so determined to grow up. When I was nine I wanted to be ten, when I was ten I wanted to be eleven. You get the picture. When exams came around and school got harder, I realised that I in fact didn’t want to grow up. I didn’t want to go to College and have to deal with harder subjects and exams every two weeks. Then I didn’t want to go to University and move away from my friends and family. But growing up is inevitable. At first I didn’t want to move away for Uni, I wanted to stay at home and stay within my comfort zone. But the simplest thing changed my mind. I don’t remember where or why, but I stumbled across this quote that read; “If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you”, and my mind was set. I would move away. Moving away to University is where I grew up. I had to. You were responsible for the amount of money you had, and the right things to spend it on. Getting groceries every week, going to lectures and doing assignments well, and handing them in on time. I was finally independent and all grown up. A daunting experience at first, all the decisions to make, and the loneliness you first feel from being away from your family and friends. However I soon got used to it, and I found that I loved being grown up. I loved finally being treated like an adult, being responsible of my own life, and what I could do and when. I was in control.

When I finished my final year of Uni and moved back home, the whole being ‘grown up’ feeling added a lot of pressure. Now being unemployed and not a student anymore, I had to show how grown up I really was and get a job. This was an extremely hard task, especially as I studied English and Creative Writing and had such a broad array of avenues to go down. Every day I would wake up to ten plus emails about the most recent jobs out there. I’d scroll through indeed for hours until there was nothing left to scroll through. I would get a trickle of responses here and there, phone interviews and emails, but they never progressed anywhere. I went through a period of a month or so where I couldn’t even bring myself to look at my emails anymore. The idea of getting a job seemed so unfathomable that I daren’t even try.

But I had to, and I’m glad I did. I kept going, kept applying, and it finally paid off. I am now a Social Media Intern at a music company. Although an unpaid intern, I am working five days a week, with amazing people and work that I’m really enjoying, and I have the opportunity to get a fulltime paid job at the end of the year if all goes well. I’m finally doing something with my life. I’ve grown up, and it feels great.

 

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